


Not So Skinny

by heckyeah



Category: Roosterteeth - Fandom, mavin - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Language, M/M, Mavin, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2017-12-31 10:17:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heckyeah/pseuds/heckyeah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin and Michael are best friends. (Isn't that how they all start?) It begins with Michael offering to take a now dateless Gavin to prom, and turns into a lot more than they expect. Trigger warning referenced self-harm and strong language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this on tumblr and it got more notes than expected so i decided to post it here too.

I watched Gavin walk from the lunch line towards the table I sat at, standing proudly beside his boyfriend, Damien. “Are you gonna sit with me and Michael?” he asked, looking up at the taller boy.

“No,” Damien replied simply, shaking his hair out of his face. “I’m sitting with the guys today.”

Gavin’s face fell. “Oh. Well, okay!”

Damien gave Gavin a microscopic smile and removed his hand from the boy’s waist, and then walked off to a different table. Gavin sat down across from me and smiled at me. I raised my eyebrow at him, and he pretended not to notice, instead beginning to shove crappy school fries in his mouth. After a few seconds of silence, I sighed. “ _Gav._ ”

“What, Michael?” he asked innocently.

I sighed again. It was getting annoying, this whole clueless façade Gavin tried to keep up. “You know what I’m gonna say.”

He did. I’d lectured him hundreds of times:  _‘Your boyfriend’s an asshole,’_  and  _‘You can do better,’_  and  _‘Don’t be surprised if I kick his ass.’_  It wasn’t anything occasional. Every day, as a matter of fact, I had to remind him that he should break up with his douchebag boyfriend. Every day at lunch he’d go sit with his douchebag football friends and eat his douchebag food with his douchebag secret girlfriend. He hung all over her 24/7, and I told Gavin more times than his dumbass boyfriend could probably count. “They’re just good friends, Mi-cool,” he’d respond. “We’re good friends, and  _we_  aren’t together.” We unfortunately also did not fuck behind the bleachers after school like they did, but whatever.

He didn’t say anything. I looked past Gavin to see Damien’s arm protectively around the chick he fucked around with, staring directly at me, a smirk plastered on his face. I clenched my jaw and looked away. I wouldn’t have even hesitated to kick his ass if Gavin wasn’t there. I’d threatened to millions of times before, but Gavin refused to let me. It wasn’t worth losing Gavin over.

Gavin began to change the subject, babbling on about how Damien was making him wear a tuxedo that was a different color than his own to prom so he wouldn’t take away attention or some shit, but how excited he still was to go. All I could think of was Damien, though. How lucky he was, how jealous I was of him, how much I wanted to beat the ever living  _shit_  out of him.

I’ll admit, I had a little crush on the kid. I mean, he was the cutest shit I knew. He was the only person I’d ever think about talking to in my crap old school, too. He might have been annoying as fuck, but for some reason I couldn’t get enough of it.

I was pretty lucky that Gavin was pretty affectionate to me anyways—away from his boyfriend at least. He’d make me hold his hand and we’d share beds and he’d even tell me he loved me sometimes, but I was positive he didn’t  _actually_  love me in that way. The point was that we’d act way too couple-y to not be a couple, especially for guys. I totally don’t care if guys act couple-y, because I’d be a hypocrite if I did, but it was still strange. We were mistaken for a couple all the time. We pretty much were, honestly, except for doing the sexual things.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall, listening to Gavin ramble on still about prom. He stopped abruptly. “Michael? Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Keep talking.”

“No,” he replied, his normal Gavin-pout evident in his voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Gav,” I assured, opening my eyes. He lifted his eyebrows suspiciously at me but continued to talk.

After school, I drove him home and went back to my house. After a few hours of playing video games, I got a phone call that sang out the ringtone assigned to Gavin’s contact.

“Hey, Gav,” I answered, the phone in between my ear and shoulder, a controller in my hands. “I think I finally got this mod down, I just—”

“Hey, M-Michael?” he interrupted, his voice hoarse and quiet. “Can you come over?”

I set my controller down and took my phone in my hand, instantly recognizing the tone in his voice. He’d been crying. “Are you okay?”

“Just hurry, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah of course.” I was already pulling on my shoes by the time he hung up, leaving my game on. I drove to his house as fast as possible, completely more freaked out than I should have been. Gavin might have been an idiot, but he didn’t cry that often. When I got there, I knocked on the door, and his dad, Geoff, showed up at the door.

“Upstairs,” he said knowingly. I ran past him, almost tripping on the staircase to Gavin’s room.

I opened the door and peeked into his bedroom when I made it. “Gav?”

I walked in, and then stopped when I completely saw him. He was lying in bed, all of his face except for his eyes covered by a blanket. They were red and puffy and still progressively watering, looking up at me. He forced a pretty pain-inducing smile at me.

“…Gav?” I walked towards him. He sat up, wiping his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

He sniffled. “He broke up with me.”

I felt my hands immediately ball into fists, my teeth gritting together so hard they probably receded. “What the fuck, why?”

Gavin shrugged, and I sat down next to him. Tears began to fall down his cheeks again. “You were right.” he replied. “He wanted to go with her.”

I almost lost my shit when he said that. “Gav, it’s okay….” I couldn’t think of what to say, honestly. I wanted to pull him into my arms and let him stay there as long as he wanted, but I’d never hear the end of it.

He sniffed. “God,” he mumbled, looking up at me. And then, in the most heartbreaking voice I’d ever heard, he managed out, “Am I not good enough?”

I couldn’t help it then. I wrapped my arms around him and shook my head furiously. “No, don’t say that. You are.” He nuzzled his face in my neck. “You are. Don’t ever think you’re not.”

He sniffed. “I’m not,” he mumbled into my shirt.

I pushed him away from me, my hands holding his shoulders. “Gavin, shut the fuck up. Don’t ever say you’re not good enough. For anyone. If anything, no one is good enough for you. Do you hear me?”

“M-Michael,” he squeaked out, reaching up to move my hand. “You’re hurting me.”

I immediately pulled my hands back. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s not your fault,” he said, almost in a whisper.

“Then whose fault is it?” I began. He looked down at his lap and shook his head. I felt my heart skip a beat and my anger towards a certain boy grow twice the size it was before. I leaned forward and then over him grabbing the collar of his sweatshirt and pulling it down his back. A dark purple handprint sat boldly on his shoulder, near the area I was holding onto. My stomach dropped. That wasn’t my handprint, for sure. I leaned back and looked Gavin in the eye. “Gavin. Did he touch you?”

He shook his head quickly.

“Gavin,” I said quietly. “If he touched you, tell me.”

He continued to look at his lap. “B-But he’ll hurt me again, Michael,” Gavin whispered, tears falling from his cheeks.

“Gav,” I replied in the same hushed tone, lifting his face up from his chin so he’d look me in the eye. “I’m never letting him hurt you again.”

He hesitated and then nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

He nodded, wiping his face.

“Do you want tissues?” I chuckled, standing up.

He smiled crookedly up at me. “Please. There’s a box in that drawer in my bathroom.”

I walked into the restroom and turned on the light. In the process of opening one of the drawers, Gavin frantically said, “No, no, not that one!”

But it was too late. There, in the drawer, messily hidden under other random bathroom things, hid a razor, glimmering in the light. I felt my heart stop beating, and I reached my hand up to push everything away from it. I picked it up and looked at him. “…G-Gav?”

“It’s not what it looks like,” he said quickly. “I-I didn’t—”

I walked towards him. I shakily reached down for his hand and lifted up his sleeve as I sat down beside him. I knew his wrist wasn’t the only place I should be looking, but knowing Gavin I figured he wouldn’t have thought of doing it in a place nobody would see. Sure enough, a neat row of bright red cuts stood out harshly against his milky skin, a day old at most.

“Gav…” was all I could manage out.

“Please, don’t be mad, Michael,” he whispered, beginning to cry again. He leaned his head on my chest. “Please, please don’t be mad at me.”

I reached my hand up and set it on his back. “I’m not.”

“I’m sorry, Michael. I didn’t know what to do. It just happened. Please, Michael.” He took in a deep breath and looked up at me. “Don’t be mad.”

I set my forehead on his. “I’m not mad.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist like a little kid and pressed his face into my stomach. “Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t hurt him too bad,” he said knowingly, looking up at me with his crooked Gavin smile.

“No promises,” I replied, rubbing his back with my palm.

We sat like that for a second, until Gavin mumbled, “I’m tired.”

“Want me to go home? You can sleep.”

He shook his head. “Come with me.”

I shook my head, smiling at him. “God dammit, Gavin,” I laughed quietly, getting under his blanket with him. He set his head on my chest and closed his eyes.

“Night, Michael.”

I smiled down at him. “Night, Gav.”


	2. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys, i know this one isn't as good. but yeah, i just wanna speed this along a bit. sorry! xoxo

Gavin and I must’ve fallen asleep like that, because a few hours later I felt myself wake up to Gavin poking my cheek. “Miiiii-cool,” he whispered, giggling.

“What?” I mumbled, scrubbing my eyes.

“I wanted you to wake up,” Gavin pouted, sitting up. He smiled at me. “You fell asleep, too.”

I nodded. My arm was apparently wrapped around Gavin the whole time we’d been asleep, because it hurt like a bitch to stretch out. “What time is it?”

He scrunched up his nose. “I don’t know.” We heard footsteps approaching the room, and I sprang out of the bed. Geoff peeked in as soon as my feet touched the ground.

“Dinner’s ready, if you guys want to eat.”

“Thanks, Geoff,” we both said in unison.

Geoff smirked and lifted his eyebrow at me as he closed the door, causing Gavin to let out a giggle, and then burst into a fit of laughter. I scoffed, but began to laugh too. “I’m going home, asshole,” I chuckled.

“What? You’re not eating with us?”

I shook my head. “My mom’s probably got her panties all twisted wondering where I am.”

He frowned. “Okay…. Bye, Michael!”

I waved at him. “Call me if you need me, okay? Oh, and also, be ready tomorrow. I’m picking you up.”

“What? Why?” he asked, his face lighting up. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” I replied simply, walking out the door.

***

The next day, at about two in the afternoon, I drove over to Gavin’s.  Geoff’s car wasn’t there, neither was his wife, Griffon’s, so I knocked on the door and peeked my head through. “Gaaaavin?” I called out. He appeared at the top of the stairs, hopping one foot as he adjusted his shoe on the other.

“Hi, Michael!”

“Hey, loser,” I greeted. “Ready?”

He nodded his head and let out a short _Mhm!_

“So where are we going?” he asked, following me out to my truck.

“I told you you’ll see,” I replied. “Calm down.”

“Is it gonna be fun?” We got into the car.

“I don’t know about fun,” I responded, more to myself. “But you’ll like it.”

Gavin almost pissed his pants in anticipation. He hated surprises, that kid. “Miii- _cool_ ,” he whined.

“Shut up, Gavin,” I responded. “We’re almost there.” Only a few seconds later I pulled into the parking lot of our destination: Suit Mart.

Gavin wrinkled his nose and looked at me. “What are we doing _here_ , Michael?”

“I know how excited you were about going to that damn prom,” I said, almost regretfully. “So I’m taking you instead.”

Gavin’s eyes widened in surprise, and he looked away. I’m still not sure if I was imagining it, but I swear he was blushing. “…Really? You’d do that for me?”

I looked at him. “Yeah. I mean, you were excited right? That asshole definitely isn’t ruining this for you.”

Gavin still had that shocked expression on his face, but it soon softened into a grin. “Thanks, Michael.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I noticed Gavin was still giving me that lame smile. “But d-don’t get any ideas!”

“You selfish minge,” he giggled, getting out of the car. I scoffed and followed him.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I mumbled when I caught sight of the inside of the building. There were tuxedos, suits, coats, any everything in between.

“It was _your_ idea,” Gavin teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled. Gavin dragged me around the store, showing off suits I should wear.

“This one?” he asked, showing me the most simple suit in the place.

“Whatever you want me to wear,” I replied. “You’re better at this shit than I am.”

He smiled at me. I helped him find his first, and then I got mine. We showed the employee what suits we wanted so he could measure us and get our sizes. Once we got them, Gavin went in and tried his on. He poked his head through the door when he got it on. “Michael?”

I looked up at him. “Hm?”

He gave me a sheepish smile. “I feel stupid.”

“Come on, asshole,” I sighed, rolling my eyes. He slid out of the dressing room, his cheeks pink. He stood shyly with his arms crossed, rocking back and forth on his feet.

I tried to hold in my grin. He looked insanely attractive in a suit, unsurprisingly. I couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say, so I managed out a, “Wow.”

His cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. “I knew it looked stupid.”

“That was a good wow, asshole. It looks cute.”

His cheeks turned redder. “R-Really? You like it?”

How could I not? I love the way Gavin looked—in everything, really. He was just naturally attractive. “You look great, you idiot.”

He turned around and quickly got back into the dressing room to change. He came out a few seconds later. “Your turn.”

I sighed. “Fine.” I grabbed the suit Gavin helped me pick out and stood up, walking into the dressing room Gavin had used.

I put on the suit and looked in the mirror. I understood what he meant when Gavin said he felt stupid. I opened the door and raised my eyebrows awkwardly, chuckling nervously. “Uh….”

“W-Wow,” Gavin stuttered. I don’t think I’d ever seen Gavin so wide-eyed before.

“ _I_ look like an idiot,” I laughed.

Gavin shook his head. “You look… _Wow_ ,” he said again.

“Is that… a good wow?”

Gavin nodded slowly.

“I feel stupid.”

“Y-You don’t have to wear it…” Gavin said. “…just because I picked it out.”

I smiled at him. “It’s your night, dumbass. Not mine.”

“Go change, you nub,” he sighed, smiling at me.

I got out of my suit and we went to the front to pay. “Well I’m officially never doing this again,” I mumbled, handing the cashier the money for our suits.

Gavin smiled. “It will be worth it, though, right?”

I looked at him. “Yeah, it will.”

He gave me a bright smile. “Then who cares?”

I shook my head at him as we grabbed the suits and began to leave. “I care. The next time some guy’s hand ever gets that close to my balls again I’m kicking him in the face.”

“Yeah,” Gavin said, furrowing his brows. “Now that I think of it, I’m not quite sure that’s how you measure for your pant size….” He waited a second. “Maybe he thinks you’re _cuute_ ,” he teased, extending the _u_.

“Whatever.” We got into my truck and I turned it on, driving off. “Why didn’t you have your suit already, anyways? Prom’s _tomorrow_.”

“Damien wanted us to go together,” he said. “So he could pick my suit out for me.”

“God, that guy is an asshole,” I mumbled.

He didn’t say anything.

“Why was it such a big deal?” I asked suddenly, my voice quiet. “When he… you know… broke up with you? After he treated you like that?”

Gavin shrugged. “I like the idea. Of being with someone like that.”

“Why did it have to be him?” I asked, looking at him.

He looked at his lap and shook his head. “Let’s go eat,” he replied after a few seconds, changing the subject.

I furrowed my brows at him. “Okay.”

We went out to eat to a quiet coffee shop-like place we always went to. They had the best burgers there, and so we both ordered some. “You know what I just realized, Michael?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink. “You just told me you were taking me to prom. You didn’t ask me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Jesus Christ, Gav, are you gonna make me get on one knee and present you a hand-stitched throw pillow asking you to go to prom with me sown into it?”

He tipped his head. “No, I’m just saying, it would’ve been nice if you asked me,” he said. I could tell he was trying not to burst into a fit of his stupid Gavin giggles, but he wouldn’t ever show me the end of this. I sighed and grabbed his hand from the table.

“Gavin Free, will you go to prom with me?” I asked, rolling my eyes.

He pretended to be surprised. “Oh, Michael, this is so sudden! Of course I will, since you begged so very desperately.” I rolled my eyes again. I sure rolled my eyes a lot around this kid. “Thank you.”

I let go of his hand. “I hate you.”

He smiled crookedly at me. “I love you, too, Michael.”

I felt my cheeks heat up and continued to eat in attempt to hide it. “Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, the third chapter i changed it to third person bc i found it easier to write and such. sorry about that! but yeah, hope you enjoyed! updates coming soon xoxo


	3. chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! i actually really love the way this chapter turned out! it was definitely the one i was most excited for. favorite so far! thank you guys for reading, too, oh my jeez. this got alot more reads than expected, and it's only been a day. so thanks a billion! and also, dont be shy to tell me what you think xoxo (also, i changed the point of view as i said i would in the last chapter's notes. sorry, but i think it came out better.) anyways, enjoy!

Michael looked at himself in the mirror, tilting his head to reveal a light purple bruise starting to form just on the underside of his jaw. It wasn’t too dark, but he knew eventually in the day it would be more visible. He couldn’t help but think of it like a trophy, though. It was like a souvenir, making him recall the incidents the previous day.

_He dropped Gavin off at his house after they ate. It was four, which meant the guys from the football team were going to be practicing. He didn’t waste time driving to the school, parking in the teachers’ parking lot when I got there. Sure enough, the team was running around the football field, practicing for the last game of the school year. He got out of his truck and instantly his anger welled up when he saw Damien walking to the bathroom._

_Michael trailed behind him, waiting outside the door for him to exit. When he did, he turned the corner and stopped in front of Michael, eyes wide. He gave him a smile. “Hey, man,” Michael said casually, leaning against the wall._

_“Uh….” He looked around nervously. “Hey.”_

_“What’s up?” Michael asked, his voice too cheery._

_“Um… I have to go practice.” He began to walk off, and the curly-haired boy grabbed his shoulder and spun him around, his fist immediately connecting with his cheek, right under his eye. He fell back, looking up at Michael from the ground._

_“Fuck you,” he spat out, now suddenly angry. He stood up and lunged forward, bringing them both to the ground. He pinned Michael down and pressed a hit to his jaw, and then winced and outstretched his hand. Michael took the opportunity to roll him over, now on top of him, and began to helplessly throw punches to his face. He was a bloodied mess within seconds, begging the shorter boy to stop._

_He stood up and pulled Damien along by the collar of his jersey. “Did you really think you would get away with it?” he asked, pushing the brunette roughly against the wall. He coughed, attempting to lean over in pain. He pressed him back against the wall. “You fucking touched him,” he spat out, lifting the taller boy from his feet. “You made him cry,” he continued, lifting his knee and pulling the battered boy into it. He let out a cry of pain. Michael pinned him to the wall once more. “If I find out you ever go near him again your ass is gonna be balls deep in the dirt.”_

_He finally let him fall to the ground, coughing limply with his face in his arms. Michael walked quickly back to his truck to avoid being seen by his teammates, and drove home._

He winced when I touched it; it hurt worse now than it did when he received it. Besides the bruise, you wouldn’t be able to tell he had even gotten in a fight not even an hour before. Even though it hurt, he couldn’t help but smile proudly at it.

-

Gavin looked at himself in the mirror, wearing the suit again. He wanted to be positive it looked alright, and despite Michael’s words he wasn’t too sure it did. Geoff knocked on the door and peeked into his room right then. “Dinner’s re—” he stopped and looked at Gavin, I smile appearing on his face. “You’re going?”

Gavin nodded sheepishly. Geoff hoped it wasn’t with Damien. Even though he was happy Gavin would be happy, he fucking hated that kid.

“Damien?”

Gavin shook his head, straightening his tie. “Michael.”

Geoff helplessly broke into a grin. “Finally.”

Gavin scoffed. “We aren’t _together_ ,” he said defensively. “He probably just doesn’t want to go by himself.”

Geoff lifted his eyebrows and exited the room.

-

The next day, at around seven in the evening, Gavin heard Michael’s usual three knocks on the door, Griffon saying, “Hi, Michael! He’ll be downstairs in a minute,” and something else he couldn’t quite make out. His stomach was doing little flips, but he gave himself an assuring smile and took in a deep breath. He exited his room, straightening his tie as he walked down the stairs. He heard Michael and Griffon talking, but Michael’s voice went quiet when he saw Gavin.

Gavin stopped at the stairs and smiled crookedly. “…Hi.”

Michael smiled back, probably too big. “Hey.”

Geoff’s head appeared from the kitchen. “Aww, look at you guys!” The two boys blushed. “Let’s take a picture.”

“No,” they both said, glaring up at him.

“Yes,” he replied, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Griffon pushed the two of them to stand next to each other and accompanied Geoff. “Say cheese.”

Despite their resistance they smiled widely, showing off their teeth. “Aw, going in the family album,” Geoff said.

Michael rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Ready?”

Gavin looked at Geoff. “Definitely.” The two boys walked to the front door and walked outside. Halfway down the walkway Geoff called out, “Use protection!”

“Go fuck yourself,” Michael called back, resulting in the husband and wife to erupt into laughter. The two boys got into Michael’s truck. Michael looked at him and smiled. “You look cute.”

“You said that yesterday,” Gavin replied, glad for the darkness of the truck to hide his blush.

Michael rolled his eyes and pulled off. “You’re welcome, you prick,” he said, although Gavin could see the boy’s grin.

They drove to the school, talking like usual, except Gavin could feel a big ball of nervous sitting in the pit of his stomach. He was extremely anxious, even though he didn’t think they were actually going to do prom-like things.

That thought changed, though, when they got out of the truck and Michael set his hand on the curve of Gavin’s hip. Gavin looked down away, hiding the blush it caused him. He could feel Michael’s eyes on him, making him twice as nervous. They walked into the people-filled gym, Gavin relieved that nobody looked at them differently. Nobody looked at them at all, really. Michael asked Gavin if he wanted a drink and Gavin said yes, so Michael led the two to a table and got them each a cup of punch. They made their way to a table in the back, and when they got there, Michael pulled out a flask and spiked their drinks. “This night officially got twice as good,” Michael laughed, taking a gulp from his drink.

The two boys sat and talked, drinking their drinks. They were both in better moods than they’d probably been in since the night they got absolutely hammered at Gavin’s house one night and stayed up all night drunkenly attempting to play video games. They were to the point where they couldn’t even finish their sentences without falling into a fit of laughter, clutching their stomachs for breath. Gavin smiled at the thought that prom was technically supposed to be a romantic thing, but of course they had to get a buzz and spend the whole night laughing their asses off. A slow song came on, and Michael stood up. “Alright asshole,” he said, holding his hand out. “Come on.”

Gavin took his hand and stood up. He wanted to object, thinking Michael didn’t want to dance, but the small amount of alcohol in his system affected his mind enough to let it happen. It might not happen again, after all. The song was, ironically, _Those Magic Changes_ , or the song that Sandy and Danny dance to during prom in _Grease_. They stopped in the middle of the dance floor, and Michael put his hands on Gavin’s hips, and they began to dance. He heard Michael singing quietly along with the music as they danced, Gavin’s head resting on Michael’s shoulder.

_What's that playing on the radio, why do I start swaying to and fro?_ _I have never heard that song before, but if I don't hear it anymore…. It's still familiar to me, sends a thrill right through me, 'cause those chords remind me of the night that I first fell in love…._

 Michael felt high off of the way his stomach flipped with Gavin being so close, the intoxication he got from his arms wrapped around his waist. He never thought it’d feel so _natural_ , with Gavin in his arms like this. He forgot about everything and everyone in that moment: it was him and his boy, and they were dancing to their song, and that was all that mattered.

A few other slow songs played, and they danced, and at one point Gavin looked up at Michael, and Michael looked back down at him. Gavin cocked his head and brought up his thumb, stroking the bruise on his jaw. “Is that a bruise?”

Michael shook his head. “I don’t think so. Where would I get a bruise from?”

Gavin shook his head and smiled. He looked into Michael’s eyes, his stomach doing a somersault. He felt a sudden burst of confidence and pulled away from Michael, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the dance floor. “Gavin, where are we going?” Michael asked, allowing Gavin to drag him away. He pulled Michael out to the front of the school and off a bit to the side of the entrance. It was empty and dark, but lit perfectly by the moon. “What are we doing out—” Michael was cut off by Gavin pulling him into his lips by his tie, his other hand on Michael’s waist. Michael brought his hand up to Gavin’s jaw and lifted it up with his fingers. He pulled away and looked into his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Michael,” Gavin said, eyes wide, as if he’d just realized what he’d done. Michael shook his head in response, pressing his lips to the taller boy’s once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just in case you guys dont know the song they danced to, here is the link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=C4bVKXCvmPc so yeah, hope you enjoyed! thank you guys for reading xoxo


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really sorry this chapter is kinda short, guys. i've been lacking muse lately but the next chapter will definitely be better! i'm sorry! but nonetheless, i hope you guys enjoy!

Michael felt a weight next to him shifting, pulling him from sleep. He felt a back against his, and then heard a soft snore escape the body next to him. He opened his eyes and turned his head to see (a blurry) Gavin lying beside him in Michael’s own bed, curled into a little ball under the blankets. Michael smiled fondly, couldn’t help but admiring the way Gavin looked while he slept.

He reached over Gavin and got his glasses from his nightstand, his vision clearing instantly. He blinked, suddenly realizing the throbbing headache he had. He laid his head back down and scrubbed his eyes. God damn, his head hurt. He buried himself farther under the comforter and pressed his face into Gavin’s back.

He closed his eyes and began to recall the events of the previous night: he and Gavin going to prom, slow dancing for an hour, going outside and….

_Kissing._

He kissed Gavin.

_He kissed Gavin._

_And then what?_ he asked himself. He tried to remember. _We came to my house, and…._

It was fuzzy. He was positive they didn’t get drunk at the prom. They only had the flask of vodka over there, and they ended up splitting it. He figured they ended up drinking more when they got to the house.

He sat up, looking around his room. Although it was dark his T.V. was lit up with a shooting game’s end screen, two XBOX controllers lying on the ground in front of it. He scooted to the end of the bed and got off, steadying himself against the wall, his head beginning to spin when his feet touched the floor.

He made his way to the bathroom, turning the light on. The brightness brought a wave of nausea to his stomach, and he quickly turned it back off. “Jesus Christ,” he hissed. He felt in his medicine cabinet for his Tylenol, pouring four into his hand. He dry swallowed two, walking over to Gavin and placing the other on the nightstand beside his head. That was one of the many things he knew about Gavin: he could handle his alcohol like a champ, until the next day came around.

He went downstairs and checked to make sure his mom wasn’t home (she went on a business trip, and she wasn’t supposed to be back, but still,) and then went back upstairs. When he entered his room, Gavin was holding himself up on both hands, looking at Michael with his sleepy eyes and messy bedhead. He got a sudden rush of memory, and it almost made him fall over. He remembered the night before last, walking into his room to see Gavin sitting up the same way, looking at him with a smirk. He’d walked slowly to him, leaning over and kissing him when he made it. He remembered Gavin on top of him, both of his hands wrapped in his curls. He remembered the warmth of their bodies, Gavin’s lips pressed against his, the way his heart was beating when Gavin stared into his eyes and smiled at him with a knowing smile.

Michael took in a breath. The memory made him lightheaded, butterflies filling his stomach.

“Are you alright, Michael?” he asked, his voice low and raspy. Michael blinked a few times.

“I don’t know,” he said, exhaling. “Are you?”

Gavin sniffed. “My head hurts.” Michael nodded his head towards the pills on the nightstand.

Michael walked back his restroom. He turned on the light this time, squeezing his eyes shut until they adjusted.

His face turned bright red when he saw his reflection: on the side of his neck sat a dark red hickey, probably the size of a golf ball. He looked at Gavin, who was walking towards him, with wide eyes.

“What?” Gavin asked. His eyes grew to the size of Michael’s when he saw the bright mark. “Did I do that?” he asked, stifling a laugh.

“Holy shit,” Michael replied, pressing down on it and wincing at the contact. “What did you do to me?!”

Gavin began to giggle.

“This isn’t funny, you asshole!” Michael continued, inspecting it in the mirror. “But I have to say, I am impressed, Gav.”

Gavin smirked at him. “I can teach you, if you’d like.”

Michael scoffed and pulled his toothbrush out. “Whatever, asshole,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Just brush your teeth.”

-

Gavin and Michael had been planning on going to a diner they always went to on hangover days, but instead found themselves once again making out on Michael’s bed. Gavin bit softly on his neck again, right under the first spot. Michael smiled, pushing him away softly. “You’re gonna make me look like a have a vampire boyfriend or something.”

Gavin blushed on the word. “So now I’m your boyfriend?” he teased.

“If you want to be, you prick,” Michael said softly, pulling Gavin onto him. He felt Gavin nod furiously as the kiss deepened, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“So much for going to lunch,” Michael mumbled into the kiss, wrapping his fingers into Gavin’s hair.

Gavin pulled away from Michael, staring at him seriously. “Michael, can I tell you something?”

“Yeah, of course,” Michael said, furrowing his brows. “What is it?”

“I’m really glad this happened,” Gavin said, suddenly quiet. “I mean, I’ve liked you for… a really long time.”

“I have too, Gav,” Michael replied in a whisper, pulling him back into a kiss.

“Michael,” he said, pushing him away lightly. “Can you promise me something?”

“What is it?”

“Promise me you aren’t doing this because you feel bad for me,” he said. He looked at him. “If you are, I’d rather it end now than you carry this out. I don’t want to… deal with that again.”

Michael shook his head. “You’re my boy,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Gavin’s forehead. “And I like you. Really really.”

Gavin broke out into a helpless grin. “Good.” He pounced onto Michael and wrapped his arms around his neck, connecting their lips.

-

“Seriously, Gav,” Michael muttered. “How am I gonna cover this up?”

Gavin grinned sheepishly. The two boys were looking at Michael’s reflection in his mirror once more, inspecting a new set of hickeys down his neck and collarbone. “I like them.”

“My mom won’t,” he sighed. “I’m fucked.”

Gavin’s face turned sad. “I’m sorry, Michael. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

Michael shook his head. “I like them.” Gavin’s face lit up. “But, it’s payback time.” Michael walked towards the taller boy and pressed his lips to the underside of his jaw, parting them and nibbling the skin lightly. He set his hands on the boy’s waist, easily lifting him up onto the counter.

“Michael,” Gavin said breathlessly, pulling away.

“Hm?” he replied, pressing a trail of kisses along the boy’s jaw.

“I think I love you,” Gavin said quietly, looking at him seriously. “Like… love you.”

Michael blinked. He felt his stomach drop, his heart beating against Gavin’s. “You… what?”

“I love you,” he said. “I love you, Michael.”

Michael felt this weird lump in his throat he didn’t think he’d ever felt before. It wasn’t the kind of lump you get when you need to cry, it was different. He felt his lips turn upwards, a full grin forming on his face. “I love you too, Gav.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm pretty positive the fic is going to end at chapter 6 or 7, just so i can move onto my other ones. i hope you enjoyed! i love you all so very much xoxo


	5. 5

Michael stopped his truck in front of Gavin’s house, putting his phone to his ear. “I’m outside, Gav, c’mon.”

“I can’t go to school,” Gavin said quietly.

“Are you okay?” Michael asked, looking at Gavin’s bedroom window. It was dark, even the usual glow of his television no longer brightening the room.

“I don’t know, I’m sick.”

“I’m coming inside,” Michael said, turning off the car.

“No,” Gavin tried to say firmly. “You have to go to school.” Michael just hung up in response, unlocking the front door with the key Gavin had given him the year before. He made his way to Gavin’s room quietly. When he got there, he could make out Gavin lying in bed, wrapped in blankets. He walked over to him and sat down on the edge of the bed, tilting the boy’s chin up.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. I don’t feel good,” Gavin mumbled, burrowing himself further into his bed.

“Where’s Griffon?” Michael asked. Griffon always took care of Gavin when he got sick, and even got mad at him if he didn’t tell her.

“She’s at her studio. Geoff had to go to work early.”

“Then I’m staying here.”

“No, you’re not,” Gavin argued.

“Yeah, I am.” Michael stood up and pulled the blankets up to Gavin’s chin, kissing his cheek. “Go to sleep. I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

Gavin sighed, but nodded and closed his eyes. Michael went downstairs so he wouldn’t bother the boy and sat on the couch. He twiddled his thumbs nervously, watching television for a few hours until a sleepy-eyed Gavin made his way slowly down the stairs. The sun was out by now, and Gavin squinted at the brightness.

“You’re still here?”

“I wouldn’t let you stay home sick alone,” he said, standing up. He walked towards him and smiled at the boy’s bedhead, combing his fingers through it. “What’s wrong?”

“I told you,” Gavin mumbled, looking at the floor. “I don’t feel good.” He walked around the boy to the kitchen, getting a cup from a cabinet and filling with water.

“I don’t think that’s true,” Michael said, crossing his arms as he leaned against the counter. Gavin shrugged.

“Don’t believe me if you want.”

“Gavin, _what’s wrong_?” Michael demanded.

“Nothing.” Gavin turned away from him to walk to the pantry.

Michael grabbed Gavin’s hand and turned him around. “Gavin, what the _fuck_ is wrong with you? Is it me? Did I do something? Because I sure as hell would like to know.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Gavin said, just as stubbornly.

“Oh, so now you’re not going to talk to me? What, now that we’re together you don’t want to tell me everything like you used to?” Michael snapped.

“Let go of me,” Gavin replied quietly.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong,” Michael said, his voice returned to normal.

“ _Let go of me,_ ” Gavin demanded. Michael pulled his hand back, shocked at the boy’s tone of voice. “You didn’t do anything, okay Michael? It’s not your damn fault. Now can you leave me alone, please?! I need privacy, you know! I know you don’t give a shit, so if you’re going to be an asshole you can just leave, okay?! I don’t want your stupid pity.” he spat out, walking around the boy. Michael grabbed his hand again.

“What the _fuck_ are you talking about?”

“I think you should go,” Gavin replied calmly, pulling his hand from the curly-haired boy’s.

“ _No_ ,” Michael said firmly. “Tell me what you’re talking about and I’ll leave.”

“Get _out_!” Gavin screamed at him, pointing in the direction of the front door. Michael took in a deep breath and turned away. He stopped in front of the door and turned back to Gavin.

“Don’t try to come crying to me later about your problems,” he said coldly. “Because you’re right; I _don’t_ give a shit.” With that he turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Gavin stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring at the front door. He heard his brain screaming to run after Michael, to catch him before he left. But, he couldn’t do it.

For whatever reason, as he watched through the window as Michael stomped to his car, he thought of that night Gavin watched Grease for the first time.

_Gavin went to Michael’s house one night and they sat on their floor, talking like idiots. They were halfway between sober and totally hammered, telling each other stupid things about themselves nobody else really knew._

_“Alright, alright,” Michael said, catching his breath from laughing so hard. “Don’t tell anyone this, okay?” Gavin nodded. “This is gonna sound totally gay, but my favorite movie is Grease.”_

_Gavin smiled crookedly. “I’ve never seen it,” he admitted sheepishly._

_Michael absolutely could not have that, and so he pulled Grease up on Netflix and they two boys sat on the floor of Michael’s bedroom. That was the night Gavin first developed feelings for Michael. The way he looked in the pale light of the TV, his voice when he sang along to all of the songs. Gavin fell in love with two things that night._

So, instead of chasing after the boy he loved, he felt himself fall to the floor, tears spilling out of his eyes. He heard Michael’s voice in the back of his mind. _Of course,_ o _f course you had to fuck this up, too. Why are you such a fuckup? You fuck everything else up, why this?_

“I don’t know, Michael,” he sobbed quietly. “I’m sorry.”

-

Michael drove with two white-knuckled hands gripping the steering wheel. He focused intently on keeping his foot from slamming it into the pedal: he wasn’t a great driver when he was angry.

He couldn’t go home—his mom was back from her business trip, and although he wouldn’t get in trouble for skipping for Gavin, he didn’t feel like dealing with her at the moment—so he drove over to a place he and Gavin had found a while ago.

The two boys had gotten drunk one night and wandered into the forest—Gavin bet Michael all of the change in his pocket they would see Slenderman—but in the middle of their adventure, they came across a small clearing within the trees. It was a small pond surrounded by rocks, a trail of stepping stones also going through the center of the water towards a small waterfall. The waterfall was merely a thin layer of water that fell down from a small stream that was connected, the only sound in the area being the trickle as it beat lightly against the water in the miniature lake. The two boys went over there all the time, although they hadn’t been in a few months.

When Michael arrived, he no longer heard the trickle of the crystal clear water nor did he see it, all of the water replaced with a layer of dried mud. He walked up the hill to where the stream ended and connected into the waterfall, discovering it was dry. He sat down next to it, remembering the day he and Gavin went over and sat in the stream, fully clothed, right at the top of the waterfall. And, for the first time in a long time, he started crying.

He didn’t know why he was crying. Maybe because he hadn’t cried in a while, and the cake was finally iced; or maybe it was because he made Gavin _angry_ , which he never even knew could happen; or maybe because knew their spot would never be the same again. Nonetheless, he cried, and he cried until he thought he would never be able to cry again. The cries varied from low pained noises to screaming sobs to even agonized silence, and with every one it got worse.

He got angry when the tears finally stopped. Angry at Gavin, angry at the pond and the stream and the fucking waterfall, angry at himself. He was angry. Angry because he didn’t know why he was crying or why he was angry or why he was such an asshole to Gavin. “You’re an asshole,” he said aloud. “Why are you such an asshole? God, you’re an asshole.”

He stood up and kicked a rock on the ground, letting out a growl of anger. _It’s not worth it,_ he told himself. And so he took in a deep breath and walked away.

-

Gavin stared emotionlessly at his TV. He watched Sandy and Danny dancing at their prom, and in that moment he wondered why he thought it was a good idea to watch he and Michael’s movie. Instead of the usual voice that serenaded the dancing couple, it was Michael’s, singing softly in Gavin’s ear.

_A melody that's never the same, a melody that's calling your name_ _, it begs you please, come back to me. Please, return to me, don't go away again, oh make them play again. The music I wanna hear is once again, you whisper in my ear._

He clenched his jaw to stop himself from crying. He didn’t know why he was torturing himself: watching their movie, listening to their song. He was even wearing Michael’s favorite hoodie, just to smell him again. He heard his door open and quickly relaxed his face.

“Hey, Gav,” Geoff said, peeking through the door. “Why was Michael’s hat on the couch?” He saw the familiar beanie appear through the space in the door. He let out a cry then, bringing his hands to his face. Tears seeped through his fingers and Geoff ran over to accompany him on his bed. His voice was worried, but running down the sides were hints of anger. “Did he do something do you?”

Gavin shook his head, his shoulders heaving with his silent cries. “It’s my fault. All my fault.”

“Gav,” Geoff said, rubbing the boy’s back. “I don’t know what happened, but it most certainly is not your fault.”

“But it is,” Gavin sobbed out. “Michael hates me.”

“Gavin Free,” Geoff said sternly, lifting his head up to look him in the eye. “Michael does not hate you. That boy loves you with all of his heart, more than anyone in this world, maybe even me, and I guarantee you he is probably more affected by whatever the hell is going on than you are.”

Despite the comfort Geoff was supplying, Gavin managed out a “Geoff, can I be alone, please?” Geoff reluctantly left the room, and when he did, Gavin grabbed Michael’s hat and hugged it to his chest, letting out a hopeless cry. It smelled just like him: minty and spicy and warm. It only made him feel worse.

He cried himself to sleep like that eventually, clutching onto Michael’s hat. He woke up the next day in the same position, still clutching onto it tightly. When he looked in the mirror, he looked horrible: his eyes were red, purple circles sitting underneath them. He got ready extremely too slow, arriving at the bus stop just as the bus pulled up.

-

“Michael, are you okay?” Ray asked, leaning against the locker beside Michael’s. “You kinda look like shit, dude.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he mumbled in response, unlocking his locker. He didn’t feel fine, though. He couldn’t see straight—like his shitty vision wasn’t enough already—and he couldn’t eat. His hair was doing this stupid thing it did where it stuck out in the back when he got stressed out. He wished he could at least have his beanie with him. He didn’t have a clue where it was. When he opened it, the beanie fell down at his feet. “Oh _fuck_.”

“Does this have something to do with Gavin?” Ray looked at Michael over his glasses. “Because I walked into Gavin having a panic attack in the bathroom this morning. You guys are both trainwrecks.”

Michael shook his head and gave Ray a tight-lipped smile. “I’m fine, dude. Thanks.” He walked away and went to class.

The rest of the school day was awful. Gavin wouldn’t even acknowledge his existence in the hallways. He’d touch his arm, grab his hand, walk beside him. Nothing.

Leaving last period, he passed Damien. “How’s it going with you and your ‘boyfriend?’” he asked Michael. “Or has he already gotten rid of you?” He gave Michael a pout. “It was wrong, what you did to him, y’know. Just going out with him because you felt bad? Major no-no.”

It all made sense now, what Gavin said to him the previous day. “I know you don’t give a shit,” and “I don’t want your stupid pity.” Damien told Gavin he didn’t really like him.

Michael grabbed the boy’s collar. “You better watch your back, do you understand me? I beat your ass in the dirt once before, and I’m not stopping there.” But, instead of slamming his head into a locker like he wanted, he ran to Gavin’s bus. Thankfully, Gavin was about to get on, making him more vulnerable. Michael ran behind him and grabbed his hand, pulling him around a corner behind the school.

“Let go of me!” Gavin twisted and tried to pry his hand away from Michael’s, to no avail. “Let go of me right now, Michael!”

“I know what he told you,” he said. “Did you really believe it?” Gavin went quiet. He looked at his feet, avoiding eye contact. “Please don’t tell me you did.” The taller boy said nothing. “Gavin, why do you treat yourself like this? Did you want to believe it? Did you think you weren’t good enough? Is that what this is about?”

He hesitated. “But I’m not,” he said, his voice small.

“Don’t you _dare_ say that, Gavin. Do you hear me? I’m an absolute piece of shit. Why you’re sticking around here, I don’t know, but I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve _you_ , but I’m still damn glad I have you.” He pulled the skinnier boy into him. “Gavin, you know I love you, more than anything in this world—even myself.”

Gavin nodded into his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Michael.”

“Don’t be. It’s my fault. I’m an asshole.”

Gavin smiled at him. “I’m an asshole, too.”

Michael kissed him. “Why do you think I love you so much?”

“Because, you’re my Danny,” he replied with a grin.

Michael rolled his eyes. “God, you’re corny.” A smirk grew on his face. “C’mon, Sandy.”


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg guys! thank you so much for reading! i havent finished a fanfiction in forever and im actually so surprised at how many views it got! so thank you for that! so anyways, im sorry the epilogue is so short, but i've actually been working on a new fic! follow me on tumblr at jordanofree.tumblr.com for updates on my fics. i'll probably post that fic on here as well. thank you guys, love you all! xoxo

“So, that’s it?” Ray asked, leaning back. He looked at the two boys over his glasses. “You guys are together now?”

Michael shrugged, looking around the courtyard of his school. “Yeah.”

The darker boy rolled his eyes and muttered, “ _Finally._ ”

“What do you mean?” Gavin asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“I saw you two at prom,” Ray chuckled. “I didn’t think Gavin would’ve come back without a bun in the oven.”

Michael scoffed and started calling Ray a whole bunch of names, Gavin saying something to himself about Immaculate Conception. After a while the two boys fall into laughter. “Gav,” Michael choked out through his laughter. “Ray called you a—”

“I didn’t call you _anything_ ,” Ray interrupted. “More importantly guess what Michael told me?” The boy’s deviousness swam in his eyes. Gavin looked at Michael and quirked an eyebrow with a smirk.

“What _did_ you tell Ray?” Michael shrank back and shook his head quickly. That was the thing about being with Michael: he pretended to afraid of him, even if he wasn’t. It made him feel stronger.

“You guys are pretty cute together, though,” Ray said seriously. “It’s cool.”

The two boys blushed, practically unnoticeably. “It’s this kid,” Michael said with a grin, pointing to his boyfriend.

Gavin rolled his eyes. “You sausage, it’s totally you. Look at your hair!” Gavin ruffled the boy’s curls.

“Okay, okay,” Ray mumbled. “You’re not _that_ cute.”

Gavin burst into a fit of giggles, causing the other boys to start laughing. A teacher walking past shot them a dirty look. “Are any of you boys actually doing _work_?”

“Yes, Mrs. Woods,” Ray called back in a serious tone. “Very important newlywed counseling session going on here.” Despite the teacher still being there the three fell into laughter once again.

After they calmed down, the three sat for a minute, until Ray said, “How long have you two liked each other?”

Michael looked at Gavin. He didn’t want to say it, honestly. He didn’t want to sound like a pansy.

“Yeah, Mi- _cool_ ,” Gavin said, pronouncing his name the way he knew Michael secretly loved. “How long have you liked me?”

“I actually liked him the whole time we’ve been friends.” He looked at Gavin. “Since Grease night.”

Gavin smiled. “Me, too.”

“You guys both started liking each other on the same night? God, you two could’ve banged and saved yourselves like two years of virginity.” The couple looked away. Ray’s eyes widened. “You guys _still_ haven’t banged? _Je_ sus. No homo, but you guys are both pretty hot.”

Michael looked at Gavin with a smirk, who looked away sheepishly. Ray watched the couple with amused eyes for a while. He was glad to see them together. They did love each other, he knew. It was obvious. It made him happy to see his two best friends happy like that.

“Why are you looking at us like that?” Michael snapped, trying to hold in his laughs. “I’ll kick your ass.”

Ray put his hands up and shook his head, but then smiled at the boys again. “How did you _not know_? Jesus Christ you guys were like schoolgirls.”

“I don’t know,” Michael said with a shrug. “Skinny love, I guess?”

Ray scoffed. “Not so skinny,” he mumbled. The couple rolled their eyes.

“Well,” Gavin said, standing up. “I think we should be going.”

Michael looked at the thirsted expression in Gavin’s eyes. “Yeah, we should.” He stood up and took his boyfriend’s hand once again. “We’ll be seeing you, Ray.”

Ray stood up and took Michael’s shoulder. He whispered something in the redhead boy’s ear that Gavin pretended not to hear.

“ _Which one of you won’t be sitting tomorrow?_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr at jordanofree.tumblr.com for more xoxo i might take oneshot requests!


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